I had planned to write on the topic of sexcapades tonight. But, my dear friend Ruby came to visit me today and I am exceptionally grumpy. That happened to me last month when Ruby came to visit. And I don’t feel much like talking about sexcapades tonight. I feel rather bitchy! Admitting it is half the battle, right? Although Geoff would say I am using my monthly visitor to excuse bad behavior. What the fuck does he know? He doesn’t have to endure the monthly visitor! The bloating, cramping, emotional roller-coaster that defines womanhood!
I warned Geoff in advance not to read today’s blog post as I fully plan to be a bitch. Today not only has me seeing the color red, but green. The color of envy. Right now, as I sit here, on a Friday night, watching coverage of the blizzard hitting the Northeast on CNN, and writing my pitiful little blog, Geoff is enjoying the company of not one, but two of our co-workers. Two young, beautiful women. As it should be. But still. I am jealous. I’m not sure why I’m jealous. Because they are with him, and I am not? Because I want to be twenty-something again? Because they are young and beautiful, and I am not? Geoff would say this kind of talk is “self-deprecating!” He is right. I hate him! Geoff says I give him far too much credit. He is also right about that. I hate him for that too. It all begs the question; if I were a young twenty-something, back in my young twenty-something body, with my young twenty-something attitude, would he want me? If I look like them, can I get someone like him? Because when I DID look like that I got an asshole!
– J. Ela