I write for a living. To be more specific, I write scripts. So, needless to say, I like everything to be wrapped up neat and tidy, start to finish, with a nice little bow. Life doesn’t work that way. This situation with Geoff has proven that. I’m not good at ad-libbing. I need a script.
I’ve been mocked, chastised even, and worse, criticized for asking too many questions. People forget it is second nature to me. It’s one of the things that makes me good at, and well suited for the kind of work I do. Part of my job is to gather facts and information.
Sometimes a fact-finding mission ends in a total bust.
Sometimes, I think, people would rather be nice than be honest.
Recently Geoff and I had a rather heated exchange of text messages;
Me: you speak a very coded language… I think… In order to be safe… To be nice… Like u said its easier to be nice…
Geoff: it is absolutely
Me: easy and nice doesnt equal honest
Geoff: what ELSE can I be honest about 🙂
No really, ask me anything
Geoff: when I give u the chance u run away
It’s easier for u to play the game
So there it was, or was it? My chance to get the answers I’m looking for. Or are the answers hidden in that coded language Geoff uses when he talks to me? Do I need a secret decoder ring to figure it out? Or, is everything he ever says to me going to be wrapped around the pretext that “it’s easier to be nice.” I mean seriously can you tell someone what you really think about them knowing you have to still work with them. Awkward! Indeed! Maybe it is easier to be nice, but it seems phony. Then again, those two days this past week when I was angry with Geoff and giving him the silent treatment, that was work! Hard work! I didn’t want it that way. I didn’t enjoy it. That’s not how I want us to spend our precious little time together.
Whatever happens, I can’t wait to write the end of this script.
– J. Ela