One Hundred Percent

“Make’em a good hand.” – I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have heard my dad tell me to “make’em a good hand.” I have always had a good work ethic. Always. But lately? It’s not that I don’t feel like giving 100%, I haven’t been able to give 100%.

I love my job. I love what I do. One thing I can always count on; no matter how crappy “life” is, my daily work life is satisfying. I always leave at the end of the day feeling like I’ve accomplished something.

But not lately. Lately, I just feel kind of so-so. And I know my co-workers have taken note. I have lost some of my drive to succeed. I have lost the energy that I am known for bringing to the table. The enthusiasm.

I used to show up for work a half-an-hour early. Now, I’m doing good to get there on time. I used to work feverishly from start to finish, sprinting, not jogging across the finish line. Now, I can barely write a complete sentence. I feel like I don’t have a creative thought in my brain.

I am not makin’em a good hand! I am not giving 100%.

This is disappointing. And I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to the people who have to work with me. I don’t know if it has to do with the ups and downs of the job search? Or if there is more to it. It’s an all-around loss of drive, period. At work and outside of work. The lethargy at home is spilling over into my job. I used to be better at separating the two. I hope whatever this is, it passes soon, and I can be back to 100%.


– J. Ela


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