Since taking this new job and moving I have been really happy. I mean, really happy. Despite being incredibly broke and living on ramen noodles, I’ve been just so completely happy! Inexplicably so! Until a few days ago I didn’t have any furniture in my house. I was sleeping on an air mattress. I seriously had one pot, one spoon, and two bowls. One of which I had to give to the cat for his water. But still, I’ve been so happy. A new kind of happiness. One that I have not experienced before. Ever.
Geoff says to me, I hope you’re really as happy as you seem to be, and I hope it last. I told him I’m 99.9% really, truly, happy.
How do I reconcile the point-one-percent?
I’ve learned, the hard way, you absolutely cannot rely on other people for your happiness. If you do, it will leave you miserable. Maybe not right away, but eventually. You are in charge of your own happiness. You can allow people into your life who contribute to the happiness. Or you can allow people in who contribute to the misery. In the same regard, you can get rid of the people who cause you misery. When I took this job and relocated, I left behind a lot of people who caused me misery. Sometimes, I let them. Okay, a lot of times I let them. Leaving, learning to let go of the toxic people in my life has turned out to be the greatest gift I could have ever given myself.
So, what about the point-one-percent?
I’m human. What would make me 100% happy? That phone call. The surprise knock on the door. The one that is never going to happen. That storybook ending. The movie, where the guy goes, “duh? I’m sorry I wasn’t at the place you needed me to be when you needed me to be there, but I’m there now, if it’s not too late?”
99.9% will just have to be good enough!
– J. Ela