Healthy Platonic Relationships?

Is it possible to have a healthy platonic relationship? Or am I just kidding myself here? Let’s be honest. It’s been eight months since “the confession” which is obviously going to be held against me for – well, forever!

Is it possible to love someone without being “in love” with someone? I mean, once you’ve said it out loud, can you undo it? How? By your words? Your actions? You can’t be less than who you are. By contrast, you can’t be more. So, I ask again, is it possible to have a healthy platonic relationship?


Is it easier to pretend you have a healthy platonic relationship, when ultimately what you have is unhealthy? By comparison to past relationships, is it unhealthy? How does it make you feel to be in this relationship? Are you satisfied in knowing this is as much as your ever going to get out of it? Are you getting enough out of it? Is it a facade? Are you settling? Does it help cushion the sting of “we will never be more than friends” and “I’m just not attracted to you that way.” Would it be more or less humiliating to just say, fuck you, and walk away?

What does it say about you, as a person, that you can’t be in a platonic relationship with someone? That you truly are a person of two poles, either all in, or all out. No middle ground.

The simple fact is this: I love this person, dearly. He makes me crazy. He makes me sane. He makes laugh. He makes me cry. He makes me think deep thoughts. Sometimes, he does the thinking for me. He holds my hand, both literally and figuratively. He lifts my spirits. He makes me brave. He makes me weak. But that’s okay, because I know he will be there to pick me up if I fall. I talk, he listens. He talks, I listen. I can’t imagine my life without this person in it. How lucky am I to have found such a great friend!

It isn’t always easy being just a friend. But then, I suppose, it’s not easy being my friend either. Nothing worth having is seldom easy. I guess, that’s how I know it is possible!

– J. Ela


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